I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize