My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
