I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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