bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
