Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize