Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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