that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Randomize
