We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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