Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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