Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize