She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
