STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
