You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
