someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
