it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
