So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
