im drinking this country out of the recession.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Sober January is a disaster.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
