My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
