i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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