Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
