hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
