she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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