His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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