that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
