:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
