i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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