Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
