I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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