I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
