they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
