just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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