i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
