i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
