I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
