I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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