Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
