booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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