Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
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The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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