I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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