he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize