you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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