My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
