i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Randomize
