They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
