drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize