my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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