Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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