There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
