Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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