I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
