i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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