Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
