He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
