i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
