stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
