The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
