Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
