Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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