She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
