epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
