Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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