Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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