Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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