Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize